The best baby jokes

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, elephant, time
Which branch of the military do babies join? The infantry!
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has 55.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: baby, military
Wife: "Every sunday you go for fishing, right?" Husband: "Yeah... Why?" Wife: "Today the fish came here and told she's pregnant."
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has 54.80 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: baby, fish, marriage, wife
Willy: "Mom, are our neighbors very poor people? Mother: "I don't think so, Willy. Why do you ask?" Willy: "Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin."
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, money
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
Goku and Superman once had a baby his name is Chuck Norris.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: baby, celebrity, Chuck Norris
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: baby, husband, men
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: baby, wife, winter
Mary held her little daughter, twenty minutes under water. Not to care for any troubles, just to look at those funny bubbles.
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has 51.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: baby, death, morbid, poems
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