The best baby jokes

A 65 year old blonde has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says “not yet.” A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says “not yet.” Finally they say, “When can we see the baby?” And the mother says, “When the baby cries.” And they ask, “Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?” The new mother says, “because I forgot where I put it.”
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, old people
Which branch of the military do babies join? The infantry!
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has 55.17 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: baby, military
Wife: "Every sunday you go for fishing, right?" Husband: "Yeah... Why?" Wife: "Today the fish came here and told she's pregnant."
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has 55.11 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: baby, fish, marriage, wife
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: baby, husband, men
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Goku and Superman once had a baby his name is Chuck Norris.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, celebrity, Chuck Norris
A Chinese couple had a black baby. They named him Sum Sing Wong.
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has 50.15 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, communication, couple
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids
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