Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?
He whale-d.
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
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A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?"
The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand."
"Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"
"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son.
After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?"
The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods."
"That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?"
"What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib?
A: A snowmobile!
How should you treat a baby goat?
Like a kid.
A Chinese couple had a black baby.
They named him Sum Sing Wong.
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How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.