The best baby jokes

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Vote: has 50.94 % from 151 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, disgusting
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, baby, Chuck Norris
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why" asks the Blond "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, blonde, cop
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, family, food, kids
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting