The best baby jokes

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Vote: has 51.25 % from 152 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, disgusting
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Vote: has 50.22 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, baby, Chuck Norris
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why" asks the Blond "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, blonde, cop
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
Vote: has 45.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor