The best baby jokes

A Chinese couple had a black baby. They named him Sum Sing Wong.
Vote: has 53.03 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, baby, communication, couple
What is height of Laziness? Adopting a child.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids
I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying. Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby. I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting, wife
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Vote: has 50.49 % from 156 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, disgusting
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Vote: has 49.76 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, baby, Chuck Norris
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris