The best baby jokes

Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, husband, men
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Q: What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party? A: "You're not owld enough."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, baby, bird, communication, party
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Vote: has 50.44 % from 158 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor, disgusting
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Vote: has 50.16 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, hospital, kids
What is height of Laziness? Adopting a child.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, kids
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, baby, Chuck Norris
I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying. Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby. I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, disgusting, wife


<<<11121314
More jokes →
Page 11 of 16.