The best baby jokes

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: baby, Chuck Norris
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
Vote:
has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: baby, wife, winter
Yo' mama so fat, when she was a baby, she took a bath with a rubber albatross.
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: baby, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Vote:
has 48.25 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Vote:
has 47.10 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
Vote:
has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, doctor
<<<11121314
More jokes →
Page 11 of 17.