Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
Yo' mama so fat, when she was a baby, she took a bath with a rubber albatross.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Q: What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party? A: "You're not owld enough."
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.