The best baby jokes

Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: baby, wife, winter
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, Chuck Norris
Yo' mama so fat, when she was a baby, she took a bath with a rubber albatross.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: baby, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
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has 49.42 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
Q: What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party? A: "You're not owld enough."
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, bird, communication, party
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, women
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
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has 47.66 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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has 47.48 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, phone
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