The best baby jokes

What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Yo' mama so fat, when she was a baby, she took a bath with a rubber albatross.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: baby, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: baby, husband, men
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why" asks the Blond "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, cop
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
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has 47.02 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
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has 46.66 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: baby, dead baby, death, Yo mama
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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has 46.02 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
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has 46.02 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: baby, life
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