The best beauty jokes

A really bad impressionist walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the wrong face?"
Vote:
has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: bar, beauty, communication
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Vote:
has 61.39 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
Vote:
has 61.10 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money
Q: What do lipstick and mascara do when they get in a fight? A: They make up.
Vote:
has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: beauty
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: beauty, drug, lawyer, wife
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, IT, phone, technology
Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A: Married.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, marriage
Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
Vote:
has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, god, sex
Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head. "How you like it?" asked the barber. "Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: beauty, redneck, stupid, time