Joke #9559

What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.

Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

There were three strings that walked into the bar. They sat down and they didn't get waited on so the first string walked up to the bar and asked for three beers. The bartender said, "I'm sorry buddy we don't serve strings in here." The string walks back to the table and tells his friends what the bartender said. "I've been here before and gotten a drink, I'll go get us something to drink," said the second string. The second sting walks up to the bar and politely asks the bartender for three beers. The bartender says, "I thought I told your buddy we don't serve strings in here." So the second string walks back and and tells his friends what has happened. The third string says "Oh, I come in here all the time, I know how to order something to drink." The third sting walks to the restroom where he ties himself up and muffs up his end. He then walks out to the bar and asks the bartender for three beers. The bartender kind of looks at him weird and says, "You a string?" "Frayed knot," he replies.

If Chuck Norris met Dora the Explorer, he'd introduce her to his Boots.

A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"

Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.

What is a "successful hunting trip"? When three men kill 9 cases of Budweiser in two days

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."

Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.