Joke #9559

What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, Chuck Norris

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, beer, Chuck Norris
Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beer, Chuck Norris
Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. "I think my privates are too small." he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, Lager," he replies, quite bemused. "Ah. There's your problem. It shrinks things, those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow." Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doc. "No", replies the man "but I've got the wife on Lager!"
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, doctor, sex, time, wife
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A real man would never cry in public unless: He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master. Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt. Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, celebrity, dog, men
There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink. The man leaves. He walks in the side door and asks the bartender for a beer. A little frustrated, the bartender repeats the answer he said before. The man leaves. He then comes in the other side door, walks to the bartender and asks for a beer. The bartender is annoyed, and tells the man he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave his bar. He leaves. He then comes in the BACK door, comes the the bartender, and before he can say a word, the bartender explodes at him. "I told you already, you are way to drunk, you can not have another beer! Get out of my bar!" Disgruntled, the man looks at the bartender and asks, "Man, how many bars do you work at?"
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, drunk
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Vote: has 80.48 % from 154 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris