Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket?
A: Is that you coughin'?
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Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV?
A: His son running away with your VCR.
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How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor?
Because he can Nazi.
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What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ?
One's composing, the other is decomposing.
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What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ?
A Pedophiles ass.
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Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo?
A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
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Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels?
A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
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Woman delivers baby.
Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc.
Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?"
Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".