Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race?
A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
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Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
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How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?
He was caught poaching.
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How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian.
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How did they know that the driver had dandruff?
They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.
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Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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Doctor to patient: "Why are you nervous?"
Patient: "Because this is the first item I am going to have An operation."
Doctor: "But I am not nervous though this is going to be my first operation."
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What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
None!
They both hang from trees.
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