Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?
He was caught poaching.
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Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’?
A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
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How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian.
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Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them!
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How did they know that the driver had dandruff?
They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.
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What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.
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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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Europe to Iceland:
Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down.
Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it?
Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH!
Iceland: Woooops...
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