How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV? A: His son running away with your VCR.
Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor? Because he can Nazi.
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo? A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race? A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?
Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday... The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.