What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!
Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him: "May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!" Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny: "Have you heard your Granny's wish? So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac! Those 4 steps will not save ya!"
Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window. After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window. He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window. After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"
Q: What do you call the ashes of a white person in a jar? A: A jar of mayonnaise.
How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months.
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
Johny went to the butchery, because he wanted to buy a little brain, so he has asked the saleswoman: "have you got a little brain?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, we have." Johny has asked her: "and is the little brain still fresh?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, yesterday he has successfully solved the crossword puzzles."
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it's the only love they get.