The best black humor jokes

What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Vote: has 31.94 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Are you lost, ma'am? Because Heaven's a long way from here.
Vote: has 31.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, heaven
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
Vote: has 31.45 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, car, death, heaven
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
Vote: has 31.40 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, chocolate, dead baby, morbid, Valentines day
Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
Vote: has 31.06 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
Vote: has 30.77 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit. We put the tape in and started to copy the movements. After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws. It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Psycho Killers III" in the video by mistake! How we laughed!!!!
Vote: has 30.74 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. - Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Vote: has 30.56 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, time
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor