Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race? A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it's the only love they get.
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
Europe to Iceland: Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down. Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it? Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH! Iceland: Woooops...
It is genetically pre-recorded in men’s brain to look for a women, which is alike his mother – said Mr. John to the judge at the court, where he was being blamed for raping his sister.
"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality." "Who told you that?" "Gynecologist."
Q: What's blue and doesn't fit? A: A dead epileptic.