Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
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First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!"
Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people."
First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
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"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality."
"Who told you that?"
"Gynecologist."
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Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
Sincerely, Michael Myers
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What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?
Vitamin bills!
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Why are little girls better than little boys?
Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
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Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
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Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor?
Because he can Nazi.
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