Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a stillbirth, soup.
Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it's the only love they get.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor? Because he can Nazi.
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
Europe to Iceland: Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down. Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it? Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH! Iceland: Woooops...
It is genetically pre-recorded in men’s brain to look for a women, which is alike his mother – said Mr. John to the judge at the court, where he was being blamed for raping his sister.
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses? A: Because their afraid of the showers.