Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter?
It sure gave them something to chew over.
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How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow.
He said he can't walk.
Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo?
A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
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Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them!
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Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV?
A: His son running away with your VCR.
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Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?
He was caught poaching.
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