Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day. It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window. After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window. He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window. After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"
Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor? Because he can Nazi.
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
Q: What do you call the ashes of a white person in a jar? A: A jar of mayonnaise.