The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?
He was caught poaching.
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Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust.
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Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces.
So too has his boot.
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Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor?
Because he can Nazi.
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Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
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Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."
"Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!"
God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."
Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."
God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."
Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace.
"For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
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