What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry.
Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip chatting over a pint of goats milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. "Here's my second son. He's a martyr too!" After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They blow up so fast, don't they?"
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.
A Jew, a German and an American walked into a small room. The Jew never came out.
There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!" And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window. The Russian says "I hate my country!" And throughs a bomb out the window. Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death." "I didn't do that" says the Mexican. The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says "what's so funny?" The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender? A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV? A: His son running away with your VCR.
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.