There's this blonde.
She gets on a plane and sits in the first available seat.
The flight attendant is coming around checking tickets.
She looks at the blonde woman's ticket and tells the blonde; "ma'am you can't sit here, your ticket says coach and this is first class.
please move to the back of the plane"
The blonde replies "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job.
I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica"
So the flight attendant, now hot under the collar at the blonde's response, goes to another flight attendant and tells him what happened.
so he goes up to her and asks her to move to the back of the plane.
She then responds "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job.
I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica".
So the two flight attendants are steaming mad and they go to the co-pilot and tells him what is going on.
He comes back to where the blonde is sitting and leans over and whispers something in her ear.
The two flight attendants were astonished when the blonde abruptly got up from her seat and moved to the back of the plane.
They looked at each other and then the co-pilot and asked him what he told her.
The co-pilot, feeling good about himself told them "oh, this happened a while back with someone else.
I just simply told the woman that the front half of the plane wasn't going to Jamaica".
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50
HAND JOB: $10.00
He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.
"Can I help you?" she asks.
"I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."
Two croupiers are sitting bored at the roulette of THE CASINO.
Suddenly a very attractive blonde woman enters and bets $20,000 on a roll, saying: "I hope you do not mind, but I feel very lucky when I play naked."
With that, she unbuttons the zipper, takes her dress and underwear off, throw the dice and yells: "Come on baby, mama needs new clothes!"
She looks with agony and as soon as the dice stops, starts jumping up and down screaming: "YES, YES, YES I WON!"
She embraces one to one of the dealers, taking her profits and clothes and disappears.
The guys are looking dumbfounded at each other.
Eventually, one asks: "Did you see what dice she rolled?"
"I do not know, I thought you were watching!"
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions...
Officer: What's 2+2?
Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!
Officer: What's the square root of 100?
Blonde: Ummmm... 10!
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.
The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"
How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door.
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!”
“How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"
We went to see a movie the other night.
I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier.
Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out.
“Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.”
By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?”
“No!” she said in a loud whisper. “The ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.”