The best business jokes

I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body. More humiliating? It was attached to my left breast.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, work
A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner. "Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."
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has 72.54 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, graduation, money, work
Starbucks is offering a new drink to honor Nancy Pelosi. They call it the "fullacrapuccino".
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has 71.69 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: business, customer service, democrat, food, political
"Yes brother," says Paddy. "Well I'm going on a business trip soon and if she gives birth while I'm away, I want you dear brother, to name the kids," says Mick. "It'll be an honour to do that for you Mick," says Paddy. A month later Paddy calls Mick. "Hello Mick, your wife's given birth to a boy and a girl, their beautiful," says Paddy. "That's wonderful Paddy, what did you call them?" says Mick. "I called the girl Deniece," says Paddy. "And what did you call the boy?" "I called the boy De nephew."
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has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: baby, business, family, kids
There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. It being hot and him being thirsty, he decided to stop. Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass. Well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway. He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up." The kid replieds, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents." To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime." "It is," the little boy replies, "That's all you can drink for a dime."
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has 70.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: business, kids, money
A blonde enters a library. She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola." The librarian says "Ma'am this is library." So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde, business, food, stupid
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "One penny?!", exclaimed the guy. The barman replied: "Yes!" So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks: "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?" "Certainly, sir", replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money." "How much money?", inquires the guy. "Four cents", he replies. "Four cents?!", exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The barman replies: "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says: "What's he doing with your wife?" The bartender replies: "Same as what I'm doing to his business."
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, business, money, wife
"The auditors have just left, sir." "Did they check the books?" "Very thoroughly." "What did they say?" "They want 15% to keep quiet."
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, money
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra? Now he's hard up.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: business, men, money, viagra
Not the people who posted this sign at a bookstore that was going out of business: "Sorry, no public restroom. Try amazon.com."
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: business, customer service, mean
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