The best business jokes

Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.
Vote: has 77.53 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, dirty, mean, vulgar
You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, business, insulting
Q: How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? A: Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, lawyer, light bulb, money
You should try the new Starbucks terrorist latte... it has a white fluffy head with 2 shots in it.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, terrorist
At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion. One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head. "No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair." As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, business, communication, customer service, mean
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Vote: has 74.58 % from 166 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, dad, lawyer, school
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible? A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bible, business, money, women
A business owner decides to take a tour around his business and see how things are going. He goes down to the shipping docks and sees a young man leaning against the wall doing nothing. The owner walks up to the young man and says: "Son, how much do you make a day?" The guy replies: "150 dollars!" The owner pulls out his wallet, gives him $150, and tells him to get out and never come back. A few minutes later, the shipping clerk asks the owner: "Have you seen that UPS driver? I asked him to wait here for me!"
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, money, time, work
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "One penny?!", exclaimed the guy. The barman replied: "Yes!" So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks: "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?" "Certainly, sir", replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money." "How much money?", inquires the guy. "Four cents", he replies. "Four cents?!", exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The barman replies: "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says: "What's he doing with your wife?" The bartender replies: "Same as what I'm doing to his business."
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, beer, business, money, wife
A boy went into a hoare house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected prostitute. The woman at reception said room 9 top of the hall. He went to the room and did his business.When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her she being aids infected. The boy answered,"When I go home i'll sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with my mam then in the morning my mam will fuck the milkman and thats the BASTARD that ran over my dog.
Vote: has 73.03 % from 655 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, business, dad, dog, sex