The best car jokes

When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
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More jokes about: animal, car
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
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More jokes about: car, fitness, gym, time
Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer.
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More jokes about: age, car, time, Yo mama
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car? A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
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More jokes about: car, chemistry, nerd
"My wife drives like thunder." "So fast?" "No, every minute she strikes a tree."
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More jokes about: car, time, travel, wife
I walked out of the store and saw a car full of black people lock their car doors i felt pretty badass until i realized it was my car.
Vote: has 66.34 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, racist
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!" They each continue on their way, and ... as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ... and dies immediately. If only men would listen...
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, men, women
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
Vote: has 65.41 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, racist, sex
Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris