The best car jokes

How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
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More jokes about: car, racist, sex
A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives: 1. One heart is from a young athlete that died from a car accident. 2. Second is the heart of a business man that never smoked or drunk that died from an airplane accident. 3. The last one is a lawyers heart that died after 30 years of experience. I'll take the lawyers heart. After the transplant, the doctor asks the patient: "Why did you choose the lawyers heart?" "Simple! I chose the heart that was less used..."
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More jokes about: business, car, death, drunk, lawyer
I want me a big black girl...the type of woman that sits in the car and it looks like it's got tinted windows.
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More jokes about: black people, car, life, women
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room. Finally one of them said, “I can’t take this, I’m going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!” The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face. “What happened?” asked the waiting car occupant. The other partner announced, “They were twins and mine died!”
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More jokes about: car, death, hospital, lawyer, life
To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, sport
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
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More jokes about: animal, car
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
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More jokes about: blonde, car
Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer.
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More jokes about: age, car, time, Yo mama