The best car jokes

This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
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More jokes about: car, fitness, gym, time
Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer.
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More jokes about: age, car, time, Yo mama
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it." A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, car, dad, driving, teen
A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic. "Everything ok with your car now?" "Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies. "Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?" "Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, mechanic, money
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
Vote: has 66.09 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, kids, racist
I walked out of the store and saw a car full of black people lock their car doors i felt pretty badass until i realized it was my car.
Vote: has 65.94 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, racist
What do you call a mexican who's lost his car? Carlos.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, mexican, racist
A car slows down at a stop sign and keeps driving. A cop sees him and pulls him over. The cop asks, "Why didn't you stop?" The man says, "I slowed down." The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating him. "Now," the cop says, "do you want me to stop or slow down?"
Vote: has 65.19 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.
Vote: has 65.19 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, gay, life, masturbation