The best car jokes

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
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has 66.90 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, kids
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died. After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly. "What's the story?" she asked. "Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied. "How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, mechanic, stupid
Q: How was break dancing invented? A: Little black kids stealing hub caps off of moving cars.
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has 66.75 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, insulting, kids, mean
The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, money, time
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. "235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
Caitlin Jenner and her chauffer were parked on a highway. When a policeman pulled up and asked "What's going on?" The driver said "I blew my tranny." The cop didn't know if he should arrest them for indecent exposure or call AAA.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, drug, travel
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room. Finally one of them said, “I can’t take this, I’m going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!” The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face. “What happened?” asked the waiting car occupant. The other partner announced, “They were twins and mine died!”
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: car, death, hospital, lawyer, life
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
"Are you two twins?" "No, why do you ask?" "Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes." "OK that's enough, your driver's license please."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, cop, driving, family
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