The best car jokes

Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A car slows down at a stop sign and keeps driving. A cop sees him and pulls him over. The cop asks, "Why didn't you stop?" The man says, "I slowed down." The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating him. "Now," the cop says, "do you want me to stop or slow down?"
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop
I bought a Jewish sports car. Not only will it stop on a dime, it will pick it up too. I've heard they're gas guzzlers though.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, jewish, money
"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
Vote: has 67.64 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, car, hospital, time
I walked out of the store and saw a car full of black people lock their car doors i felt pretty badass until i realized it was my car.
Vote: has 67.62 % from 108 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, car, racist
Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter? A: They're easier to spot.
Vote: has 67.60 % from 217 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, car, racist, vulgar, winter
Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
Vote: has 67.51 % from 76 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, car, kids
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
Vote: has 67.47 % from 104 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
Why do black people have nice shoes and nice cars but not nice houses? Because they haven't figured out how to steal houses yet!
Vote: has 67.32 % from 657 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, car, racist
What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his his nose. Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken... A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that. Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out the underpants. What do you do with a years worth of used condoms? Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear. What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus! A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock. A lady asks "What are you dressed as?" He says a fireman! You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can. One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."
Vote: has 67.15 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, car, doctor, sex


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