Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam!
The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. "235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!" They each continue on their way, and ... as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ... and dies immediately. If only men would listen...
Caitlin Jenner and her chauffer were parked on a highway. When a policeman pulled up and asked "What's going on?" The driver said "I blew my tranny." The cop didn't know if he should arrest them for indecent exposure or call AAA.
Q: What do a gay and a garbage truck have in common? A: Both take it in the rear.