The best car jokes

How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
Vote: has 65.00 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, racist, sex
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!” “Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” “No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, god, women
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"  Second Blonde: "Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"
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More jokes about: blonde, car
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
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More jokes about: blonde, car
Yo mama is so fat when she wears red they say look a firetruck.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row. The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?" "Of course the old woman!" The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, life, old people, women
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
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More jokes about: animal, car
Much controversy surrounds Area 51, which is also known as Chuck Norris's playground. Those flying saucers are similar to our model cars and planes.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris