The best car jokes

Q: What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile? A: A taxi.
Vote: has 66.54 % from 635 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, car, white people, work
I walked out of the store and saw a car full of black people lock their car doors i felt pretty badass until i realized it was my car.
Vote: has 66.53 % from 111 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, car, racist
A guy who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "Where have you been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "It looks like you've had quite a few drinks this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "That a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, drunk, wife
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!” “Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” “No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car, god, women
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, money
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, fitness, gym, time
"My wife drives like thunder." "So fast?" "No, every minute she strikes a tree."
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, time, travel, wife
Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks Pritam, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, communication, driving, friendship, stupid
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon? A: Far-from-thinkin.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car


<<<19202122
More jokes →
Page 19 of 39.