The best car jokes

Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches. Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
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has 67.11 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, weather
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: car, fitness, gym, time
Yo' Mama is so fat, she gets her nails done at the auto shop.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: car, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks Pritam, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, driving, friendship, stupid
There was an ad in the newspaper: An agriculturist looks for a woman with a tractor. The photo of the tractor is required.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: car, men, women
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, time, wife
A car slows down at a stop sign and keeps driving. A cop sees him and pulls him over. The cop asks, "Why didn't you stop?" The man says, "I slowed down." The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating him. "Now," the cop says, "do you want me to stop or slow down?"
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Homer gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. "Now Homer", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost ?" Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Homer whispered, "I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, old people
There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving? The Cop
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has 65.60 % from 660 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, cop, mexican, racist
Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
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has 65.55 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
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