The best car jokes

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, men
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Yo mama is so fat when she wears red they say look a firetruck.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: car, fat, insulting, Yo mama
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
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has 64.86 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: car, sex, technology
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened. The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..." The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Q: What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile? A: A taxi.
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has 64.52 % from 713 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, white people, work
Yo' Mama is so fat, she gets her nails done at the auto shop.
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: car, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
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has 64.16 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
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