The best car jokes

At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, Chuck Norris, work
Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!
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More jokes about: age, car, Yo mama
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
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More jokes about: car, elf, Santa, travel
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Homer gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. "Now Homer", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost ?" Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Homer whispered, "I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, old people
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Vote: has 64.26 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, school, sex
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
Vote: has 63.93 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, celebrity, music
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
Vote: has 63.82 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, time, wife
Yo' Mama is so fat, she gets her nails done at the auto shop.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Caitlin Jenner and her chauffer were parked on a highway. When a policeman pulled up and asked "What's going on?" The driver said "I blew my tranny." The cop didn't know if he should arrest them for indecent exposure or call AAA.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, drug, travel