The best car jokes

Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, Yo mama
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
Vote: has 64.71 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, celebrity, music
A car slows down at a stop sign and keeps driving. A cop sees him and pulls him over. The cop asks, "Why didn't you stop?" The man says, "I slowed down." The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating him. "Now," the cop says, "do you want me to stop or slow down?"
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop
Two Yankee boys were driving through the South and was stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper walked up to the open driver’s window, reached in, and slapped the driver on the side of his head. "What did you do that for?" the driver asked. "I don’t know how yall do it up north but here in Alabama, you have your drivers license ready when I walk up to the car." The trooper took the license when it was offered, walked back to his unit and then returned the license to the driver. He then walked around to the passenger side of the car and tapped on the window. When the passenger rolled the window down, the trooper reached in and slapped the passenger on the side of the head. "What did you do that for?" asked the startled passenger. "Well," responded the trooper, "I didn’t want you to be disappointed. You’ll get about two miles down the road and then say, 'I wish that redneck woulda tried that with me!'"
Vote: has 64.09 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, driving, redneck, travel
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
Vote: has 63.82 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, time, wife
Yo' Mama is so fat, she gets her nails done at the auto shop.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, fat, insulting, Yo mama
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Homer gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. "Now Homer", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost ?" Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Homer whispered, "I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, old people
What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, gay, life, masturbation
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Vote: has 63.35 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, school, sex