The best car jokes

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, time, wife
Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, weather
A guy goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy who's obviously been drinking for a while. The drunk gets up from his stool to go to the bathroom and falls down 3 times. The guy says to himself "I'll help this guy get home safely" and helps him out to his car The guy falls down five more times. He drives him up to the address on his license, takes him up to the door. The guy falls down 8 times on the way...and rings the bell. A lady answers the door and says "Oh how nice, you brought home Harry. But what did you do with his wheelchair?"
Vote: has 65.19 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, car, drunk
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, sport
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room. Finally one of them said, “I can’t take this, I’m going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!” The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face. “What happened?” asked the waiting car occupant. The other partner announced, “They were twins and mine died!”
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, death, hospital, lawyer, life
Yo mama is so fat when she wears red they say look a firetruck.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, fat, insulting, Yo mama
To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, car, Yo mama
Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, car, time, Yo mama
I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, mean, women


<<<20212223
More jokes →
Page 20 of 39.