The best car jokes

How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, travel
"My wife drives like thunder." "So fast?" "No, every minute she strikes a tree."
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: car, time, travel, wife
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Homer gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. "Now Homer", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost ?" Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Homer whispered, "I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, old people
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
One day a Georgia state patrolman pulled a car over for speeding about 20 miles from the Florida line on I-95. When the officer asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to Jacksonville to do a show that night and didn't want to be late. The patrolman told the driver that he was fascinated by juggling and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The juggler told him that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The patrolman told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the patrolman got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled up behind the patrol car and a drunk got out and looked at the show, and then went to the patrol car, opened the back door and got in. The patrolman saw him do this and went over to his car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, "Just go on and take me to jail..... there's no way in the world that I can pass that test.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, hospital, time
Q: What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile? A: A taxi.
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has 64.99 % from 693 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, white people, work
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
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has 64.86 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: car, sex, technology
What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
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