The best car jokes

Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: age, car, time, Yo mama
I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, mean, women
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, dinosaur
What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his his nose. Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken... A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that. Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out the underpants. What do you do with a years worth of used condoms? Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear. What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus! A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock. A lady asks "What are you dressed as?" He says a fireman! You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can. One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, doctor, sex
Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam!
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, food, women
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!" They each continue on their way, and ... as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ... and dies immediately. If only men would listen...
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, men, women
A guy walks into an auto shop and says, "I'd like a gas cap for my KIA." The car mechanic thinks for a few seconds then says, "Ok, that seems like a fair trade."
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: car, mechanic
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
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has 64.33 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, kids, racist
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, travel
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Homer gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. "Now Homer", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost ?" Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Homer whispered, "I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, old people
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