The best car jokes

Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Caitlin Jenner and her chauffer were parked on a highway. When a policeman pulled up and asked "What's going on?" The driver said "I blew my tranny." The cop didn't know if he should arrest them for indecent exposure or call AAA.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, drug, travel
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened. The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..." The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Q: What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile? A: A taxi.
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has 64.71 % from 702 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, white people, work
A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died. After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly. "What's the story?" she asked. "Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied. "How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.
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has 64.35 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, mechanic, stupid
I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
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has 63.86 % from 339 votes. More jokes about: car, love, marriage, wedding
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
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has 63.55 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, men
The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, money, time
"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, hospital, time
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