The best car jokes

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
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What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
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There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
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I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
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A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets in, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." The passenger asks "Who?"  The cabbie says "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time." Passenger: "Yeah. But there are always a few clouds over everybody."  Cabbie says "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano." The passenger replies "Sounds like he was something really special"  Cab driver responds "There's more... he had a mind like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out." Passenger: "Wow, some incredible guy"  The cabbie goes "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me. I always seem to get stuck in them." "Passenger: "Mmm, there's not many like him around."  Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. And he's never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"  Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank." Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?" Cabbie: "I married his fucking widow..."
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What do your parents' car and testicles have in common? Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
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Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
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"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."
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What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop rods.
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