The best car jokes

What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."
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What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop rods.
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How would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in the front and two in the back. And how do you get four polar bears in a car? Take the reindeer out first.
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John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
Vote: has 62.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, weather
A guy who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "Where have you been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "It looks like you've had quite a few drinks this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "That a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, drunk, wife
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, kids, Santa
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
Vote: has 61.81 % from 933 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, cop, racist