The best car jokes

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
Vote: has 63.48 % from 95 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, sex, technology
Q: Why is it good to have a Jewish car? A: It can stop on a dime, and pick it up for you too!
Vote: has 63.45 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, jewish, life
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common? Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
Vote: has 63.26 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, dirty, family
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: anniversary, car, divorce, men, wife
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Homer gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. "Now Homer", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost ?" Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Homer whispered, "I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop, old people
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, dinosaur
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
Vote: has 63.04 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, car, celebrity, music
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car, dentist, stupid
Caitlin Jenner and her chauffer were parked on a highway. When a policeman pulled up and asked "What's going on?" The driver said "I blew my tranny." The cop didn't know if he should arrest them for indecent exposure or call AAA.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop, drug, travel
Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks Pritam, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, communication, driving, friendship, stupid


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