The best car jokes

The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, money, time
"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, hospital, time
A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row. The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?" "Of course the old woman!" The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, car, life, old people, women
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: car, school, teacher
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
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has 62.50 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, lawyer
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"  Second Blonde: "Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
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has 62.04 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon? A: Far-from-thinkin.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop. The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed. They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move. He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse. So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move. He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, horse, men, technology
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