The best car jokes

I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
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has 63.96 % from 337 votes. More jokes about: car, love, marriage, wedding
Yo mama is so fat when she wears red they say look a firetruck.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: car, fat, insulting, Yo mama
A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row. The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?" "Of course the old woman!" The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, car, life, old people, women
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, men
Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Yo' Mama is so fat, she gets her nails done at the auto shop.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, fat, insulting, Yo mama
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened. The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..." The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
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has 62.79 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
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