The best car jokes

When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
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has 60.88 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, celebrity, music
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, IT, life
Yo mama so old her drivers license in hieroglyphics.
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: age, car, insulting, Yo mama
What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
In the High Court: Do you know what you get for false testimony? Yes, they promised me a Mercedes...
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer
Yo' Mama is like a race car: she burns through four rubbers a night.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: car, Yo mama
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo." "Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, car
Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: age, car, Yo mama
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
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