The best car jokes

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
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More jokes about: car, cop
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, car, divorce, men, wife
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, sex
A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why? The rabbit had two b's already.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, travel
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe." Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." Company softball team downsized to chess team. Company president now driving a Hyundai. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, car, IT, management, work
What do you call a mexican who's lost his car? Carlos.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, mexican, racist
Yo mamma so black when she gets in the car the oil light turns on.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, insulting, racist, Yo mama
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, men