The best car jokes

Yo' Mama is so fat, she gets her nails done at the auto shop.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: car, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
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has 61.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, celebrity, music
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he opened the door a truck came roaring past and completely tore off the driver’s door of the Lexus. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911. When a policeman arrived, the lawyer was still screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again. After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust. "I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Didn’t you notice that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." The lawyer looked down to his left side and let out a terrible scream: "Oh my God!… MY ROLEX!"
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, god, lawyer, phone
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, men
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, dentist, stupid
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: car, school, teacher
Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter? A: They're easier to spot.
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has 60.66 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, racist, vulgar, winter
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
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has 60.64 % from 960 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, cop, racist
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