What does Pontiac stand for? Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!
Two Yankee boys were driving through the South and was stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper walked up to the open driver’s window, reached in, and slapped the driver on the side of his head. "What did you do that for?" the driver asked. "I don’t know how yall do it up north but here in Alabama, you have your drivers license ready when I walk up to the car." The trooper took the license when it was offered, walked back to his unit and then returned the license to the driver. He then walked around to the passenger side of the car and tapped on the window. When the passenger rolled the window down, the trooper reached in and slapped the passenger on the side of the head. "What did you do that for?" asked the startled passenger. "Well," responded the trooper, "I didn’t want you to be disappointed. You’ll get about two miles down the road and then say, 'I wish that redneck woulda tried that with me!'"
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened. The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..." The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini? A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop rods.
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!