A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir ."
The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. "
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don"t be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn"t have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you"re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn"t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you"re driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON"T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma"am?"
"Only when he"s been drinking, officer."
Yo mama teeth are so yellow when she smiles traffic slows down.
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist?
A: Someone dented her car.
Q: What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile?
A: A taxi.
Vote:
What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!
Vote:
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train?
When it's on the train.
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car.
Who's driving?
A cop!
Vote:
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common?
Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?"
"No."
"Did he hurt the cows?"
"No, he just grazed them."
Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving?
A: The cop!