The best car jokes

"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, hospital, time
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
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has 63.04 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, celebrity, music
Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks Pritam, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, driving, friendship, stupid
Two Yankee boys were driving through the South and was stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper walked up to the open driver’s window, reached in, and slapped the driver on the side of his head. "What did you do that for?" the driver asked. "I don’t know how yall do it up north but here in Alabama, you have your drivers license ready when I walk up to the car." The trooper took the license when it was offered, walked back to his unit and then returned the license to the driver. He then walked around to the passenger side of the car and tapped on the window. When the passenger rolled the window down, the trooper reached in and slapped the passenger on the side of the head. "What did you do that for?" asked the startled passenger. "Well," responded the trooper, "I didn’t want you to be disappointed. You’ll get about two miles down the road and then say, 'I wish that redneck woulda tried that with me!'"
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has 62.85 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, driving, redneck, travel
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened. The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..." The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
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has 62.79 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini? A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop rods.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
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