The best car jokes

When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
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has 60.88 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, celebrity, music
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, IT, life
Yo mama so old her drivers license in hieroglyphics.
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: age, car, insulting, Yo mama
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop. The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed. They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move. He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse. So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move. He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, horse, men, technology
What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
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has 60.21 % from 978 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, cop, racist
In the High Court: Do you know what you get for false testimony? Yes, they promised me a Mercedes...
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer
Yo' Mama is like a race car: she burns through four rubbers a night.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: car, Yo mama
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo." "Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, car
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
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