The best car jokes

How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
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has 62.37 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: car, racist, sex
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
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has 62.37 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: car, school, sex
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he opened the door a truck came roaring past and completely tore off the driver’s door of the Lexus. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911. When a policeman arrived, the lawyer was still screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again. After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust. "I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Didn’t you notice that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." The lawyer looked down to his left side and let out a terrible scream: "Oh my God!… MY ROLEX!"
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, god, lawyer, phone
A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row. The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?" "Of course the old woman!" The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: age, car, life, old people, women
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, men
Yo' Mama is so fat, she gets her nails done at the auto shop.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: car, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, dentist, stupid
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
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has 61.09 % from 950 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, cop, racist
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