The best car jokes

A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
Vote: has 61.14 % from 946 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, car, cop, racist
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, school, teacher
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, sport
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"  Second Blonde: "Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car
Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop, driving, weed
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris... Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why? The rabbit had two b's already.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
Vote: has 59.75 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, IT, life
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
Vote: has 59.75 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop


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