The best car jokes

Chuck Norris can change the tire on a car while it's still moving.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car
Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said "It's O.J. again. He's up there threatening to set himself on fire! We are going car to car collecting donations." "Donations!" I said, "How much you got so far?" He said "about ten gallons."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
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has 57.86 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: car, school, sex
A gypsy man buys land next to the house of a doctor. He hires an engineer and then gets him build an identical house. When he finished the house, the gypsy man comes to the balcony and shouts the doctor. "Doctor – Doctor!" "What is you gypsy eh?" The doctor says. "Well, maybe you don’t like me but we are the same because we have the same house!" "No way, the doctor says, because we do not have the same furniture..." the gypsy man angry as he is, oders the same furniture and he comes to the balcony again. "Doctor – Doctor! We have the same house, the same furniture, we are the same ourselves!" "What are you saying you stupid gypsy do we have the same car?" the doctor says. and shows at his luxurious MERCEDES in the garage. Angrier the gypsy man gets loans and buy an identical MERCEDES and goes back to the balcony. "Doctor – Doctor!" "What do you want again eh?" doctor says "I am “better” than you!" "Why is that eh?" doctor says. "We own the same house, furniture and same car, right?" The gypsy says. "I agree, but do these make you better than me?" the doctor says. "Because I have a neighbor doctor, and you have a neighbor Gypsy!Ha!"
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: car, doctor, racist
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
A blonde was trying to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.” “That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde, “if I can only sell the car.” “Okay,” said the brunette. “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will ‘fix it’. Then you shouldn’t have a problem anymore trying to sell your car.” The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, “Did you sell your car?” “No,” replied the blonde, “Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!”
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, money, stupid
A police officer stopped a driver for speeding. "Can I see your driving license?" "I don’t have it, I had it removed because of point system." "Can I see your license for the vehicle?" "But it is not my car, I stole it." "Stole it?" "Right, let me think, I think I saw the permition before in the glove box when I put my gun in there." "There is a gun in the car?" "Yes sir, I put it right there, when I shot and killed the woman driving this car and then put the body back to the trunk." "There is a corpse in a car?" "Right, sir." After all these he calls the police chief. And soon the car gets surrounded by police. The captain approaches the driver to handle the situation. "Sir, can I see your qualification?" "Of course, ultimately, there it is." "In fact, it’s OK, and to whom does the car belong to?" "It is mine, there is my license as well." "uld you open the glove box, is there a gun inside?" "Of course, take a look, there is nothing." "Do you mind opening the trunk too? They told me that you put a body in there." "No problem, take a look." "Empty too! But I do not understand, the officer who stopped you told us that you said that you did not have a driving license, that you stole the car, that you had a gun in the glove box and that there was a dead body in the trunk." "Oh right! I bet he told you that I was running and speeding!"
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, travel
Q: Why is it good to have a Jewish car? A: It can stop on a dime, and pick it up for you too!
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has 56.77 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
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