The best car jokes

Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Vote:
has 58.86 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: car, school, sex
Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married. "Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back." Six months pass and Peter returns. "Yes, we can do this for you." The couple asks, "Well, as we have spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need to know that if things don't work out, is there a possibility that we can be divorced?" To which St. Peter answers, "It took me six months to find a priest up here how long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer?"
Vote:
has 58.72 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: car, death, heaven, marriage, wedding
Chuck Norris can change the tire on a car while it's still moving.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive? A: OxFord.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, driving
A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it.... Cop: "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?" Blonde: "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65." Cop: "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!" Blonde: "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on." At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts. Cop: "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful." Blonde: "Oh... We just got off of highway 119".
Vote:
has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it? A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...
Vote:
has 57.83 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, women
Q: Why is it good to have a Jewish car? A: It can stop on a dime, and pick it up for you too!
Vote:
has 57.64 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life
What does Pontiac stand for? Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!
Vote:
has 57.62 % from 227 votes. More jokes about: black people, car
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
Vote:
has 57.27 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: car, racist, sex
<<<26272829
More jokes →
Page 26 of 39.