The best car jokes

A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here, unhurt. This must be a sign from God!" Pointing to the sky, he continues, "God must have meant that we should meet and share our lives in peace and friendship for the rest of our days on earth." The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This must surely be a sign from God!" The rabbi is looking at his car and exclaims, "And look at this! Here's another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of Mogen David wine did not break. Surely, God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune." The priest nods in agreement. The rabbi hands the bottle to the priest, who drinks half the bottle and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap on, then hands it back to the priest. The priest, baffled, asks, "Aren't you having any, Rabbi?" The rabbi replies, "Nah... I think I'll wait for the police."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, god, priest, wine
Yo' Mama is like a race car: she burns through four rubbers a night.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: car, Yo mama
When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, weather
A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it.... Cop: "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?" Blonde: "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65." Cop: "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!" Blonde: "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on." At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts. Cop: "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful." Blonde: "Oh... We just got off of highway 119".
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, sex
How would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in the front and two in the back. And how do you get four polar bears in a car? Take the reindeer out first.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
What do you call four niggers, in a car, driving off a cliff? A waste. You could've fit two more in the trunk.
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has 56.84 % from 272 votes. More jokes about: black people, car
Chuck Norris can change the tire on a car while it's still moving.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
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