The best car jokes

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, phone
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, dinosaur
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
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has 55.29 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: car, racist, sex
Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
There are 4 guys in a car, 1 from Iowa,1 from Wisconsin, 1 from Florida, and 1 from Illinois. The guy from Florida says "I’m tired of seeing oranges everyday" so he throws some oranges out the window. So then the guy from Iowa says "I’m tired of seeing Corn everyday" so he throws some corn out the window. The guy from Wisconsin is very inspired so he opens the door and pushs the guy from Illinois out of the car!
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has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: car, racist
A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why? The rabbit had two b's already.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: "Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you." The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the cross walk. The voice shouted, "Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die." The man stood still; a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "Where the hell were you when I got married last week?"
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has 54.38 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: car, death, marriage
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, kids
When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
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