The best car jokes

A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter’s holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy! And if there is anything you need, just let me know. Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says “Here you go” and goes to leave when the forester says “Waitaminute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?” St. Peter says: “Well, Foresters are a dime a dozen here, we have never had a lawyer before.”
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer, money
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive? A: OxFord.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, driving
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
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has 55.29 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: car, racist, sex
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why? The rabbit had two b's already.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Yo mamma so black when she gets in the car the oil light turns on.
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has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, insulting, racist, Yo mama
When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: "Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you." The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the cross walk. The voice shouted, "Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die." The man stood still; a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "Where the hell were you when I got married last week?"
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has 53.92 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: car, death, marriage
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, Chuck Norris, time
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
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