The best car jokes

When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, kids
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, fart, travel, Yo mama
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo." "Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, car
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive? A: OxFord.
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, driving
A truck was traveling through town. When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, "Mr. you're losing part of your load". She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light. She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. you're losing part of your load." The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said, "MA'AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE, I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK......."
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid, winter
Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, driving, weed
Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it? A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...
Vote: has 56.30 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, driving, women
What do you call four niggers, in a car, driving off a cliff? A waste. You could've fit two more in the trunk.
Vote: has 56.27 % from 261 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car