The best car jokes

A gypsy man buys land next to the house of a doctor. He hires an engineer and then gets him build an identical house. When he finished the house, the gypsy man comes to the balcony and shouts the doctor. "Doctor – Doctor!" "What is you gypsy eh?" The doctor says. "Well, maybe you don’t like me but we are the same because we have the same house!" "No way, the doctor says, because we do not have the same furniture..." the gypsy man angry as he is, oders the same furniture and he comes to the balcony again. "Doctor – Doctor! We have the same house, the same furniture, we are the same ourselves!" "What are you saying you stupid gypsy do we have the same car?" the doctor says. and shows at his luxurious MERCEDES in the garage. Angrier the gypsy man gets loans and buy an identical MERCEDES and goes back to the balcony. "Doctor – Doctor!" "What do you want again eh?" doctor says "I am “better” than you!" "Why is that eh?" doctor says. "We own the same house, furniture and same car, right?" The gypsy says. "I agree, but do these make you better than me?" the doctor says. "Because I have a neighbor doctor, and you have a neighbor Gypsy!Ha!"
Vote:
has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: car, doctor, racist
Q: What do a gay and a garbage truck have in common? A: Both take it in the rear.
Vote:
has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, gay
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
Vote:
has 55.86 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: car, racist, sex
What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.
Vote:
has 55.68 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: car, gay, life, masturbation
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female......Any part under a car's hood. Male........The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male........Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family. Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend. 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v. Female......A good movie, concert, play or book. Male........Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex. 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female......An embarrassing by-product of digestion. Male........A source of entertainment, self-statement and male bonding. 7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female......The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed. 8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.
Vote:
has 55.36 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, football, marriage, technology
What kind of a car does a proctologist drive? A brown Probe!
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: "Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you." The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the cross walk. The voice shouted, "Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die." The man stood still; a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "Where the hell were you when I got married last week?"
Vote:
has 54.38 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: car, death, marriage
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Vote:
has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, kids
When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, weather
<<<28293031
More jokes →
Page 28 of 39.