What kind of a car does a proctologist drive?
A brown Probe!
Vote:
Santa rides in a sleigh.
What do elves ride in?
Mini vans!
A man finds a genie lamp.
He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and says "I may grant you 3 wishes, but your wife gets double."
The man wishes for a new car. The genie gives him a new car and the man's wife 2 new cars.
The man then wishes for a new house. The genie gives him a new house and the man's wife 2 new houses.
The man then says, "For my final wish, I wish to be beaten to half-death."
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can change the tire on a car while it's still moving.
Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car?
A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
What do you call four niggers, in a car, driving off a cliff?
A waste.
You could've fit two more in the trunk.
Vote:
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom:
“Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.
” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:
“Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car door.