The best car jokes

Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
Vote: has 54.89 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, car, death, jewish, morbid
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car
Why did the blond speed on the highway? Because she thought the cars behind her where chasing her!!!!
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car
Yo mamma so black when she gets in the car the oil light turns on.
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, car, insulting, racist, Yo mama
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car, travel
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female......Any part under a car's hood. Male........The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male........Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family. Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend. 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v. Female......A good movie, concert, play or book. Male........Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex. 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female......An embarrassing by-product of digestion. Male........A source of entertainment, self-statement and male bonding. 7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female......The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed. 8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 113 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, communication, football, marriage, technology
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: "Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you." The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the cross walk. The voice shouted, "Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die." The man stood still; a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "Where the hell were you when I got married last week?"
Vote: has 54.15 % from 181 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, death, marriage
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Vote: has 53.78 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop, kids
Chuck Norris can change the tire on a car while it's still moving.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, car


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