The best car jokes

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, dinosaur
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, drunk
Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A policeman sees a car weaving all over the road and hits his flashing lights. He walks up to the driver's window and sees a good looking woman behind the wheel. There is a strong smell liquor on her breath. He says, "I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol." She blows up the balloon and he walks it back to his patrol unit. After a couple of minutes, he returns to her car and says, "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones." She replies, "You mean it shows that, too?"
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, drunk
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, car, driving, life
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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has 51.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, Chuck Norris, time
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, travel
What do you call four niggers, in a car, driving off a cliff? A waste. You could've fit two more in the trunk.
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has 51.10 % from 344 votes. More jokes about: black people, car
Q: What u call 10 black people in the back of a truck? A: A good days hunting.
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has 50.77 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, racist
What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
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