The best car jokes

A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck. The father says "okay, you know what to do." Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick." The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
Vote:
has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting, family, redneck, sex
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
Vote:
has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, sex
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Vote:
has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, sport
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, sex, Yo mama
A man finds a genie lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and says "I may grant you 3 wishes, but your wife gets double." The man wishes for a new car. The genie gives him a new car and the man's wife 2 new cars. The man then wishes for a new house. The genie gives him a new house and the man's wife 2 new houses. The man then says, "For my final wish, I wish to be beaten to half-death."
Vote:
has 52.15 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: car, genie, marriage, wife
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, drunk
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
A policeman sees a car weaving all over the road and hits his flashing lights. He walks up to the driver's window and sees a good looking woman behind the wheel. There is a strong smell liquor on her breath. He says, "I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol." She blows up the balloon and he walks it back to his patrol unit. After a couple of minutes, he returns to her car and says, "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones." She replies, "You mean it shows that, too?"
Vote:
has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, drunk
<<<30313233
More jokes →
Page 30 of 39.