A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving?
"The cop!"
Vote:
Why did the blond speed on the highway?
Because she thought the cars behind her where chasing her!!!!
Yo mamma so black when she gets in the car the oil light turns on.
Vote:
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.
After looking the man over he says, "Sir,
I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot.
Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says,
"Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed.
Have you been eating doughnuts?"
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop.
The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour.
The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works.
He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face.
He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car.
The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal."
"Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
In the High Court:
Do you know what you get for false testimony?
Yes, they promised me a Mercedes...
Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.
He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?"
Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks Pritam, puzzled.
"Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."
Vote:
Much controversy surrounds Area 51, which is also known as Chuck Norris's playground.
Those flying saucers are similar to our model cars and planes.
Vote:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walk s to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.
Q: Why can't gays drive faster than 68mph?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod.