The best car jokes

Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, fart, travel, Yo mama
John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!" St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven." This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other. John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?" "My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, heaven, men
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: car, elf, Santa, travel
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, sport
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, sex, Yo mama
A man finds a genie lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and says "I may grant you 3 wishes, but your wife gets double." The man wishes for a new car. The genie gives him a new car and the man's wife 2 new cars. The man then wishes for a new house. The genie gives him a new house and the man's wife 2 new houses. The man then says, "For my final wish, I wish to be beaten to half-death."
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has 52.15 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: car, genie, marriage, wife
A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck. The father says "okay, you know what to do." Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick." The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting, family, redneck, sex
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, drunk
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