The best car jokes

A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: car, couple, men
Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it? A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...
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has 50.15 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, women
A truck was traveling through town. When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, "Mr. you're losing part of your load". She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light. She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. you're losing part of your load." The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said, "MA'AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE, I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK......."
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid, winter
A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? "The cop!"
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has 49.87 % from 489 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, cop, racist
Why did the blond speed on the highway? Because she thought the cars behind her where chasing her!!!!
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: car, kids, Santa
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: bar, car, cop
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, wife
Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, weather
Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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has 49.41 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, stupid
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