The best car jokes

A man was driving along the road when all of a sudden he has to swerve to avoid a box falling off the lorry in front. Seconds later a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. As the policeman starting writing the ticket he noticed the box was full of nails and tacks. "I had to serve or I'd have run over those and blown my tyres!" protested the driver. "Ok", replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, "but I'm still bringing you in." "What for?" retorted the man. "Tacks evasion", answered the policeman.
has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, driving, tax
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, sport
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
A Mexican and a nigga are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
has 44.67 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, car, cop, driving
To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
What kind of car does a rabbit drive? A furrari.
has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, sport
What do you call a school bus full of black people? A rotten banana.
has 43.23 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, food, racist
A Policeman pulls over a motorist for running a stop sign. The motorists says, "What's the problem officer, I slowed down for that stop sign?" The officer replies, "I know you slowed down, but you are supposed to stop." "But officer, I slowed down, what's the difference?" "The difference is, you're supposed to stop.", says the officer. "But I slowed down!" replied the motorist. The officer says, "Let me explain it to you this way. I'm going to drag your scrawny ass out of your car, then I'm going to take this stick I carry on my belt and I'm going to start beating you with it. After five minutes I'm going to ask you, do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"
has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
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