The best car jokes

One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone PISSING on his Ferrari. "Hey," says the man. "Why are you pissing on my Ferrari?" "Because I feel like it." "Tell you what -- I won't report you to the police if you can keep up with my Ferrari." "Whatever." So the guy gets in his car and drives off, going faster and faster, until he's hit 100 miles per hour. Amazingly, the guy is still keeping up. "I'm amazed," says the driver. "How are you keeping up?" "It's easy," says the running man, "when your d**k is stuck in the door."
Vote:
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, disgusting
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
Vote:
has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A Mexican and a nigga are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
Vote:
has 44.72 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, car, cop, driving
Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
Vote:
has 43.65 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
Vote:
has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Vote:
has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, sport
English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
Vote:
has 43.40 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: car, death, military
What do you call a school bus full of black people? A rotten banana.
Vote:
has 42.88 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, food, racist
A Policeman pulls over a motorist for running a stop sign. The motorists says, "What's the problem officer, I slowed down for that stop sign?" The officer replies, "I know you slowed down, but you are supposed to stop." "But officer, I slowed down, what's the difference?" "The difference is, you're supposed to stop.", says the officer. "But I slowed down!" replied the motorist. The officer says, "Let me explain it to you this way. I'm going to drag your scrawny ass out of your car, then I'm going to take this stick I carry on my belt and I'm going to start beating you with it. After five minutes I'm going to ask you, do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"
Vote:
has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car? A. Because she blows the horn!
Vote:
has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
<<<33343536
More jokes →
Page 33 of 40.