The best car jokes

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: car, dog, marriage, men, women
When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, sport
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area. The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
has 43.39 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, car, cop, party
A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?" "Why sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially well for that." A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. "No, no! A little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.
has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
has 42.86 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
What do you call a school bus full of black people? A rotten banana.
has 42.76 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, food, racist
A Mexican and a nigga are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
has 42.63 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, car, cop, driving
A Policeman pulls over a motorist for running a stop sign. The motorists says, "What's the problem officer, I slowed down for that stop sign?" The officer replies, "I know you slowed down, but you are supposed to stop." "But officer, I slowed down, what's the difference?" "The difference is, you're supposed to stop.", says the officer. "But I slowed down!" replied the motorist. The officer says, "Let me explain it to you this way. I'm going to drag your scrawny ass out of your car, then I'm going to take this stick I carry on my belt and I'm going to start beating you with it. After five minutes I'm going to ask you, do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"
has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
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