The best car jokes

A Policeman pulls over a motorist for running a stop sign. The motorists says, "What's the problem officer, I slowed down for that stop sign?" The officer replies, "I know you slowed down, but you are supposed to stop." "But officer, I slowed down, what's the difference?" "The difference is, you're supposed to stop.", says the officer. "But I slowed down!" replied the motorist. The officer says, "Let me explain it to you this way. I'm going to drag your scrawny ass out of your car, then I'm going to take this stick I carry on my belt and I'm going to start beating you with it. After five minutes I'm going to ask you, do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop
Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car? A. Because she blows the horn!
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
Vote: has 42.94 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, dad, kids, racist
What kind of car does a rabbit drive? A furrari.
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car
In the High Court: Do you know what you get for false testimony? Yes, they promised me a Mercedes...
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, lawyer
What do you call a school bus full of black people? A rotten banana.
Vote: has 40.78 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, food, racist
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
Vote: has 40.31 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, dad, driving, kids
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. The truck driver motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!" He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face. "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He gets a baseball bat out of His truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tyres. Now she’s laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is almost falling over. "What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde. She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle."
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car
Yo mamma is so fat, when I swerved in my car to get around her, I ran out of petrol.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, fat, insulting, Yo mama
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, cop