The best car jokes

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, wife
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, couple, death, winter
Q: Why did the Asian cross the road? A: Because he had no car!
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has 39.35 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, money, racist
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
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has 39.18 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, money
I bought a Jewish sports car. Not only will it stop on a dime, it will pick it up too. I've heard they're gas guzzlers though.
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has 37.85 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, money
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
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has 37.03 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, phone
This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, 'Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...'
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, driving
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, phone
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
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has 36.89 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: age, car, dad, kids, racist
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