The best car jokes

What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ? A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
Vote: has 24.97 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, travel
Q. Did you hear about the funny blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, husband
A guy was talking with his friend: I’ve managed to separate from my wife in common agreement: she gets the house and I get the car and desk. Ok, but how about your finances? The lawyer takes care of those...
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, lawyer, money, wife
Q. Why did the dum blond keep failing her driver's test? A. Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, fat
Q: And where was the location of the accident? A: Approximately milepost 499. Q: And where is milepost 499? A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Vote: has 20.85 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop
What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Vote: has 19.50 % from 100 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, car, disgusting
In a car there are two persons: a car mechanic and a programmer. They where going to work when suddenly the car broke down. The car mechanic tries to make the car work again but no solution. Suddenly the programmer says: "I say we better FORMAT it!"
Vote: has 19.07 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, geek, IT, mechanic, programmer
A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home." The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man. The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"
Vote: has 18.69 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, car, drunk
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
Vote: has 17.55 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, cop