The best car jokes

Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
Vote:
has 29.24 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, car, death, heaven
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
Vote:
has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Q: How do you know if you have a asian neighbour? A: They have been reported in over 10 car accidents on the news, their car has scratches, their on P's and they park one car on their driveway which is meant for to cars, and they park their second car in front of your house.
Vote:
has 28.78 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, racist
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired? It got toad!!
Vote:
has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
There is a nigger and a Mexican in a car. Who is driving? Nethier, the cop is.
Vote:
has 27.89 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, racist
Johny was stopped by the policeman on the road, the policeman has looked over the whole car and has said to Johny: "Johny, if you´ll go somebody by your car, the human would probably survive the collision with your car also without your help, but the treatment with the content of your archaic first aid box will survive nobody, there´s no doubt. Did you buy it in the shop B.C.?"
Vote:
has 27.74 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, little Johnny, time
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie. You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You ever cut your grass and found a car. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'. You own a homemade fur coat. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button. The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction. People hear your car a long time before they see it.
Vote:
has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, drunk, kids, wife
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!", the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
Vote:
has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
Vote:
has 26.76 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, travel
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ? A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
Vote:
has 25.99 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, travel
<<<373839
More jokes →
Page 37 of 39.