The best car jokes

Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car? A. Because she blows the horn!
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
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has 42.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, dad, driving, kids
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she was pulled over for drunk driving and asked to walk a line, she said, "Which one?"
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, stupid, Yo mama
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris... Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
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has 41.82 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis. He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car". The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening. He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room. "OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
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has 41.67 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, kids, sex
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, cop
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
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has 39.62 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, death, military
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