The best car jokes

Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car? A. Because she blows the horn!
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car
A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar. The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal." "That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car." "Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car." The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice. About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?" "No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
Q: Why did the Asian cross the road? A: Because he had no car!
Vote: has 43.19 % from 93 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, car, money, racist
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she was pulled over for drunk driving and asked to walk a line, she said, "Which one?"
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, stupid, Yo mama
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car, mechanic, work
What do you call a school bus full of black people? A rotten banana.
Vote: has 41.79 % from 109 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, car, food, racist
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
Vote: has 41.17 % from 115 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, car, dad, kids, racist
What kind of car does a rabbit drive? A furrari.
Vote: has 40.24 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, wife
Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car, death, stupid, winter


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