The best car jokes

A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Vote: has 79.34 % from 134 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
A guy walks into a bar carrying a pair of jumper cables. He sets em down on the bar. And then the bartender said "Now dont you start anything!"
Vote: has 79.27 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, car
Yo' Mama is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
Vote: has 79.22 % from 1178 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, insulting, money, Yo mama
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
Vote: has 78.99 % from 1439 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, kids, money, stupid
After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 am?", said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture.", the man said. And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?", the cop asked. "My wife!!!" said the man.
Vote: has 78.95 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, car, cop, wife
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."
Vote: has 78.90 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, computer, IT, science
What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
Vote: has 78.68 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, women
Yo Mommas so fat it took me a bus and two trains just to get on her good side.
Vote: has 78.35 % from 222 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, fat, Yo mama
Jeff and Mike are in a car accident and both die. Upon Jeff's arrival at the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter. "Where is my friend Mike?" Jeff asked. St. Peter replies, "Well, Mike was not as fortunate as you. He went in the other direction instead of getting into Heaven." Jeff was bothered by this and asked, "Well, could I see Mike one more time just to be sure he is OK?" So, Jeff and St. Peter walked over to the edge of Heaven and looked down. There was Mike, on a sandy beach, with a gorgeous blonde in a bikini, and also with keg of beer. "I don't mean to complain, but Mike seems to have it pretty nice down there in Hell," says Jeff. "It's not as it appears to be," says St. Peter. "You see, the keg has a hole in it... and the blonde doesn't."
Vote: has 78.06 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, car, death, heaven, life
A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
Vote: has 78.06 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, wife