The best car jokes

In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
Vote:
has 79.03 % from 1452 votes. More jokes about: car, kids, money, stupid
What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
Vote:
has 79.00 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, women
Yo' Mama is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
Vote:
has 78.73 % from 1308 votes. More jokes about: car, insulting, money, Yo mama
Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
Vote:
has 78.66 % from 2501 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, computer, math, racist
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
Vote:
has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, mean, money, women
There were these two blonds and they locked their keys in their car. The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?" The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in." The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?" The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger." The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
Vote:
has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, stupid, weather
Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?" The girl says, "A bus." The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"
Vote:
has 78.47 % from 280 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, life, sex
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
Vote:
has 78.38 % from 212 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
Vote:
has 78.31 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, death, management, military
A motorist gets caught in an automated speed trap that photographs his car. He later receives a ticket in the mail for $40 with a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sends the police department a photograph of $40. A few days later, he gets a letter from the police department with a picture of handcuffs.
Vote:
has 78.00 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, money