The best car jokes

What do spongebob and an asian have in common? They're both yellow and cant drive.
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has 79.17 % from 755 votes. More jokes about: car, racist
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
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has 79.08 % from 1460 votes. More jokes about: car, kids, money, stupid
Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?" The girl says, "A bus." The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"
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has 79.04 % from 293 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, life, sex
Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
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has 78.88 % from 2649 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, computer, math, racist
When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa... peacefully... sleeping... unlike the passengers in his car.
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has 78.87 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: car, death, old people
Yo' Mama is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
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has 78.79 % from 1322 votes. More jokes about: car, insulting, money, Yo mama
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
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has 78.77 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. "What are those for?" she asked suspiciously. "I'm a juggler," the man replied. "I use those in my act.’ "Well, show me," the officer demanded. So he got out the machetes and started juggling them, first three, then more, finally seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer. Another car passed by. The driver did a double take, and said, "My God. I've got to give up drinking! Look at the test they're giving now."
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has 78.67 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, god
Jim is up north on a trip and his car breaks down. He checks it out for a minute and being a mechanic he pretty quickly knows he needs a tow truck. He opens his phone and has no signal so he starts walking. A few minutes later he here's the bass of a car coming in the distance, bht dum dum do buh dum dum do. He waits and sees a low riding car pull up next to him. The windows roll down and smoke pours out. He sees a bunch of empty beer bottles. The driver and his 3 passengers ask "hey man! Need a lift? We saw your car up the road?" He thinks for a minute and decides not to go with them. The ask what's wrong with the car the mechanic replies "uhh just piston broke that's all" the driven than replies "eh so are we man hop in!"
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has 78.59 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, men, phone, travel
Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
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has 78.55 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, cop, death, gym