The best car jokes

Jeff and Mike are in a car accident and both die. Upon Jeff's arrival at the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter. "Where is my friend Mike?" Jeff asked. St. Peter replies, "Well, Mike was not as fortunate as you. He went in the other direction instead of getting into Heaven." Jeff was bothered by this and asked, "Well, could I see Mike one more time just to be sure he is OK?" So, Jeff and St. Peter walked over to the edge of Heaven and looked down. There was Mike, on a sandy beach, with a gorgeous blonde in a bikini, and also with keg of beer. "I don't mean to complain, but Mike seems to have it pretty nice down there in Hell," says Jeff. "It's not as it appears to be," says St. Peter. "You see, the keg has a hole in it... and the blonde doesn't."
Vote: has 77.03 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, car, death, heaven, life
Yo Mommas so fat it took me a bus and two trains just to get on her good side.
Vote: has 76.98 % from 184 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, fat, Yo mama
Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, driving, fish
One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour. The chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house. The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane. He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen. The farmer said that he was a geneticist and had developed this breed of chicken because he, his wife and his son each like a drumstick when they have chicken and this way they only have to kill one chicken. "That"s the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman. "How do they taste?" "I don't know," said the farmer. "We've never caught one."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, food, time, wife
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bible, car, christian, time
There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving? The Cop
Vote: has 76.30 % from 355 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, cop, mexican, racist
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Vote: has 76.27 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, car, kids, wife
A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
Vote: has 76.27 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, wife
Why do black people have nice shoes and nice cars but not nice houses? Because they haven't figured out how to steal houses yet!
Vote: has 76.19 % from 462 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, racist