Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win?
A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer?
When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.