The best celebrity jokes

A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After taking a drink he sees the guy next to him go over to the window and jump out! "Holy cow! Did you see that!? That guy just jumped out the window!" The bartender does nothing. So the man takes another sip. A minute later the same guy walks in, orders another drink, chugs it, and jumps out the window again. "Jesus! He just jumped again!" The bartender ignores the man. So the man sits puzzled. The guy comes back into the bar, and orders another drink. "How did you survive that jump?" "I ordered a floatie drink, if you drink it in a certain amount of time, you can float." So the guy quickly orders a floatie drink. He takes it from the bartender, and chugs it. He then jumps out the window and... SPLAT! Right on the sidewalk! The Bartender then says, "You know, Superman... you can be a real jerk when youre drunk."
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, celebrity
Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, love, women
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, IT, phone, technology
Yo momma so black Batman came and said damn b*tch I thought I was the dark night.
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has 58.17 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: black people, celebrity, insulting, Yo mama
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, divorce, marriage, wife, women
How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic? He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geography, health, war
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, death
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors? A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geek
Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, wife
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