The best celebrity jokes

How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic? He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geography, health, war
There is man sitting in a bar who is really, really drunk. When the bar closes he gets up to go home. He stumbles and falls couple of times and finally manages to get out of the door. As he gathers himself, he sees a nun passing by. He stumbles over to her and starts punching her in the face. The nun is shocked beyond belief, but before she could say anything, he leans over and punches her again. This time the nun hits the pavement. The drunk stumbles over to her, kicks her in the butt, picks her up and throws her against the wall. By now the nun is very weak and can barely move. He leans over her, grabbing her by the collar of her habit and says, "Not feeling too STRONG tonight, I thought you would be tougher Batman!"
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, celebrity, drunk
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Christmas, life, music
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors? A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geek
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him." "And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg. "Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly. "And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger. "I'll be Bach," said Arnie.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Yo Mama's so fat, she makes Johana Hill look superbad at gaining weight.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, fat, insulting, vulgar, Yo mama
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