A real man would never cry in public unless: He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master. Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt. Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
Yo momma so black Batman came and said damn b*tch I thought I was the dark night.
Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
Charles isn't in charge. Chuck is!
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man? Batman can go to the store without robin.
Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? A: Look for sesame seed buns.
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...