Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Q: What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew? A: Harry Potter escaped the chamber.
Yo'Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.
Steve Jobs was an amazing man. He will live in my hard drive forever!
Freddy Krueger has nightmares of Chuck Norris
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After taking a drink he sees the guy next to him go over to the window and jump out! "Holy cow! Did you see that!? That guy just jumped out the window!" The bartender does nothing. So the man takes another sip. A minute later the same guy walks in, orders another drink, chugs it, and jumps out the window again. "Jesus! He just jumped again!" The bartender ignores the man. So the man sits puzzled. The guy comes back into the bar, and orders another drink. "How did you survive that jump?" "I ordered a floatie drink, if you drink it in a certain amount of time, you can float." So the guy quickly orders a floatie drink. He takes it from the bartender, and chugs it. He then jumps out the window and... SPLAT! Right on the sidewalk! The Bartender then says, "You know, Superman... you can be a real jerk when youre drunk."
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.