A real man would never cry in public unless:
He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master.
Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt.
Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
Yo momma so black Batman came and said damn b*tch I thought I was the dark night.
Vote:
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice.
Except for Chris Brown.
Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
Vote:
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives?
Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks.
''What's your name?''
The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack.
May I help you?''
''Yeah,'' says the frog.
''I'd like to borrow some money.''
The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form.
''Okay,what's your name?''
The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.''
''Really?'' says the loan officer.
''Any relation to Mick Jagger?''
''Yeah, he's my dad.''
''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer.
''Do you have any collateral?''
The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?''
The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure.
Let me go check with the bank manager.''
''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.''
The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.''
The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Yo'Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.
Yo mama's so ugly that slender-man ran from her.
She's also the reason why slender-man doesn't have eyes.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.