Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
A real man would never cry in public unless: He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master. Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt. Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.