The best celebrity jokes

Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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Yo momma so black Batman came and said damn b*tch I thought I was the dark night.
Vote: has 66.69 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, celebrity, insulting, Yo mama
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island? A: He wanted maximum isolation.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting. Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.” So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him. Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.” The others nod and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.” So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air. When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.” The others nod, and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart. He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."
Vote: has 65.86 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, celebrity, fart, IT, phone
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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