Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
Vote:
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win?
A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize?
Cause he was outstanding in his field.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
Yo Momma so fat and ugly that when she applied to become a movie star she got the part "Godzilla".
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
Vote:
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
A real man would never cry in public unless:
He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master.
Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt.
Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.