Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
Yo'Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.
He sure was a popular guy.
Everywhere he went, people shouted "Hi Hitler" and gave him a little wave.
Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting.
During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting.
Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.”
So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie.
After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him.
Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.”
The others nod and the meeting continues.
Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping.
He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.”
So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air.
When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.”
The others nod, and the meeting continues.
Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart.
He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."
Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
Vote:
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
Vote:
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Yo mama's so ugly that slender-man ran from her.
She's also the reason why slender-man doesn't have eyes.
Wanna know Victoria's Secret?
She has a penis.
How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize?
Cause he was outstanding in his field.