The best celebrity jokes

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite his 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. Kylie Minogue, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Kyle said, “Sean, if I am not being too forward, I’d love to have sex with an older man. Let’s go back to my place.” So they go back to her place and have great sex. Afterwards, Sean says, “If you think that was good, let me sleep for half an hour, and we can have even better sex. But while I’m sleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and my dick in your right hand.” Kylie looks a bit perplexed, but says, “Okay”. He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex. Then Sean says, “Kylie, that was wonderful. But if you let me sleep for an hour, we can have the best sex yet. But again, hold my balls in your left hand, and my Dick in your right hand.” Kylie is now used to the routine and complies. The results are mind blowing. Once it’s all over, and the cigarettes are lit, Kylie asks “Sean, tell me, does my holding your balls in my left hand and your dick in my right stimulate you while you’re sleeping?” Sean replies, “No, but the last time I slept with a slut from Melbourne, she stole my wallet.”
Vote: has 78.97 % from 458 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, celebrity, music, sex
Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents. Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?
Vote: has 78.89 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, money, music
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? A: Look for sesame seed buns.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life
Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
Vote: has 78.72 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."
Vote: has 77.54 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
There was a guy in a bar one night that got drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed, he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door, he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face. Well, the nun was totally surprised, but before she could do or say anything, he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt. Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall. By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move very much. So then he leaned over her, put his face right next to hers and said; "Not very f..kin' strong tonight, are you Batman?"
Vote: has 77.23 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, celebrity, drunk
Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
Vote: has 77.13 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
Bruce Wayne first tried wearing a Chuck Norris mask to inspire fear, until he saw himself in the mirror. He immediately changed to the Batman
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris