The best celebrity jokes

If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
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has 78.67 % from 2099 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back. But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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has 78.57 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. “What are those?, asks the attendant. “They’re called tees” replies Tiger. “Well, what on the god’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman. “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger. “Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything!”
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has 78.40 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: car, celebrity, golf, sport
Q: What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a salad? A: The salad is dressed.
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has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, food
A paralegal, an associate, and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you one." "Me first!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with Tom Cruise." Poof! She's gone. "Me next!" says the associate. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the partner. The partner says: "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
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has 77.18 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, genie, holiday, lawyer, women
First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong... God is clearly no fan of moonwalkers.
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has 76.54 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, god, life
Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
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has 76.46 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Q: Why don't you ask Yoda for money? A: He is always a little to short.
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has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, communication, money
Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents. Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?
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has 76.28 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, money, music
When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St. Peter wouldn’t let him in until he proved his identity. Einstein scribbled out a couple of his equations, and was admitted into paradise. And when Picasso died, St. Peter asked, “How do I know you’re Picasso?” Picasso sketched out a couple of his masterpieces. St. Peter was convinced and let him in. When George W. Bush died, he went to heaven and met the man at the gates. “How can you prove to me you’re George W. Bush?” Saint Peter said. Bush replied, “Well heck, I don’t know.” St. Peter says, “Well, Albert Einstein showed me his equations and Picasso drew his famous pictures. What can you do to prove you’re George W. Bush?” Bush replies, “Who are Albert Einstein and Picasso?” St. Peter says, “It must be you, George, c’mon on in.”
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has 76.20 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, heaven, life, political, science
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