Q: Why don't you ask Yoda for money?
A: He is always a little to short.
Vote:
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
Justin Bieber puked on stage.
That settles it, she's pregnant.
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building.
He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out.
Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing.
One hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says:
"Hey, how the heck are you doing that?!"
The first guy responds: "Oh, it's really simple physics.
When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk."
"WOW!", exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!."
So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below.
The bartender looks over to the first man and says: "Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."
Priest: Kim, do you take Kanye to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and cherish?
Kim: I..
*Kanye grabs mic*
Kanye: She do.
Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
Vote:
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer.
One man applied for the job but he had no arms.
"How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo.
"That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head.
BONG!!!
"That's amazing!" said Quasimodo.
"Could you show me that again?"
"Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower.
A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?"
Quasimodo came out and said...
"I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!"
All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
Vote:
First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong...
God is clearly no fan of moonwalkers.