Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. “What are those?, asks the attendant. “They’re called tees” replies Tiger. “Well, what on the god’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman. “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger. “Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything!”
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as he who shall not be named.