Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him. Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vasectomy is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker. The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating. Curious, the man ask “What are they doing in there”? The nurse responds, “They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have Obama Care..”
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? A: Han So-high
Justin Bieber puked on stage. That settles it, she's pregnant.
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong... God is clearly no fan of moonwalkers.