Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? A: Han So-high
Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.