Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
Whats the difference between usain bolt and hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race...
I unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter... I'm sure she's gonna write a song about it.
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!