What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.
I unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter... I'm sure she's gonna write a song about it.
Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
What does a black person and Batman have in common? They both can't leave home without Robbin.
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? A: Han So-high
Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
Q: What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? A: Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.