The best celebrity jokes

Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
There was a guy in a bar one night that got drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed, he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door, he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face. Well, the nun was totally surprised, but before she could do or say anything, he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt. Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall. By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move very much. So then he leaned over her, put his face right next to hers and said; "Not very f..kin' strong tonight, are you Batman?"
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has 73.48 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, celebrity, drunk
Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
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has 73.10 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as he who shall not be named.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
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has 72.91 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, internet, life, music
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
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has 72.32 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing. One hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says: "Hey, how the heck are you doing that?!" The first guy responds: "Oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk." "WOW!", exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!." So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below. The bartender looks over to the first man and says: "Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."
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has 71.56 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer, celebrity, drunk
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, celebrity, life, music
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms. "How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo. "That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head. BONG!!! "That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?" "Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?" Quasimodo came out and said... "I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!"
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: celebrity
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