The best celebrity jokes

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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has 80.32 % from 479 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, game
In "I Am Legend", Will Smith survived alone for years. 24 hours after a woman shows up, he dies. AND that girl stole his bacon.
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has 79.99 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, women
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
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has 79.72 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."
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has 79.29 % from 355 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back. But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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has 78.97 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
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has 78.67 % from 2177 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
A paralegal, an associate, and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you one." "Me first!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with Tom Cruise." Poof! She's gone. "Me next!" says the associate. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the partner. The partner says: "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
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has 78.42 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, genie, holiday, lawyer, women
An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, "I am Stephen King , the best selling author of my time... My millions of fans need me , and i can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the planernThe 2nd passenger , Barack Hussein Obama, said , "I am the 44th President of the United States, and I am the smartest President in American history , so my people don't want me to die." He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.rnThe 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son , I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The little boy said , "That's okay , Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag."
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has 78.29 % from 247 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, money, stupid, time
Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
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has 78.15 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Bush asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Bush asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
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has 78.08 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, life, political
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