The best celebrity jokes

I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?" I said "Because he didn't die in real life"
Vote: has 82.80 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
Vote: has 82.29 % from 273 votes. Send joke:

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Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Bush asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Bush asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
Vote: has 81.91 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

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Justin Bieber puked on stage. That settles it, she's pregnant.
Vote: has 81.26 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Vote: has 81.14 % from 184 votes. Send joke:

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If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Vote: has 81.03 % from 1656 votes. Send joke:

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James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
Vote: has 79.96 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Vote: has 79.87 % from 172 votes. Send joke:

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In "I Am Legend", Will Smith survived alone for years. 24 hours after a woman shows up, he dies. AND that girl stole his bacon.
Vote: has 79.71 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

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There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped. The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish guy must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English guy must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English bastard again.'
Vote: has 79.21 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

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