Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
Why does Rick Ross rap about cars when he cant fit in them.
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing. One hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says: "Hey, how the heck are you doing that?!" The first guy responds: "Oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk." "WOW!", exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!." So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below. The bartender looks over to the first man and says: "Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."
Yo Momma so fat and ugly that when she applied to become a movie star she got the part "Godzilla".
All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.
What does a black person and Batman have in common? They both can't leave home without Robbin.
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
Whats the difference between usain bolt and hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race...