Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton and Representative Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment.
They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten.
After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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Pawn Stars:
Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?"
Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.
CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
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Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
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Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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