Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms. "How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo. "That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head. BONG!!! "That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?" "Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?" Quasimodo came out and said... "I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!"
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world. Who wins? Chuck Norris.