The best celebrity jokes

Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms. "How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo. "That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head. BONG!!! "That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?" "Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?" Quasimodo came out and said... "I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!"
Vote: has 70.39 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity
Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, life
How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize? Cause he was outstanding in his field.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, life
Grandma: "Why is that dumb piece of cotton candy talking." Me: "Grandma, thats Nikki Minaj."
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, life
There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said "I bet I can walk across the water." He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said "They did it that means I do it." , He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?" Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, christian, Chuck Norris, communication
All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Yo Momma so fat and ugly that when she applied to become a movie star she got the part "Godzilla".
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, fat, ugly, Yo mama
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing. One hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says: "Hey, how the heck are you doing that?!" The first guy responds: "Oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk." "WOW!", exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!." So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below. The bartender looks over to the first man and says: "Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."
Vote: has 69.44 % from 62 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer, celebrity, drunk
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 69.34 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, holiday


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