The best celebrity jokes

Yo Momma so fat and ugly that when she applied to become a movie star she got the part "Godzilla".
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, fat, ugly, Yo mama
This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place, and he takes a seat at the bar. “This is a nice place. I’ve never been here before,” he says to the guy next to him. “Oh, really?” the other replies. “It is a nice place. It’s also a very special bar.” “Why is that?” the first guy asks. “Well, do you see that painting on the far wall? That’s an original Van Gogh, and this stool I’m sitting on was on the Titanic.” “Gee, that’s amazing!” says the first guy. “Not only that, but you see that window over there, fourth from the right? Well, the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out you’ll fall about 50 feet before the wind catches you and you’re pushed back up.” “No way! That’s impossible,” the guy scoffs. “Not at all. Take a look,” the other man replies, and with that he walks over to the window and opens it. He climbs over the sill and falls out. He drops 10… 20… 30… 40…50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh — he comes right back up and sails back through the window. “See? It’s fun. You should try it,” he says. “Try it? I don’t even believe I saw it!” the first man shouts. “It’s easy. Watch, I’ll do it again.” And with that, he falls out the window again. He drops 10… 20… 30… 40… 50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh — he comes right back up and sails back through the window. “Give it a try. It’s a blast,” he says. “Well, what the heck, I’ll give it a try,” the first man says, and proceeds to fall out the window. He falls 10… 20… 30… 40… 50…60…70…80…90… 100 feet and splat — he ends up as road pizza on the sidewalk. After watching this, the second guy casually closes the window, heads back to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender arrives with the drink and says, “You know, Superman, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk.”
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, celebrity, drunk
Taylor swift: so he calls me up and he's all like "I still love you" and I'm like... Wait, is this Connor, Patrick, Joe, Luca, Taylor, John, Cory, Toby, Jake, Garret, Eddie, or Harry?
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, love, music
A real man would never cry in public unless: He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master. Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt. Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: beer, celebrity, dog, men
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? A: Look for sesame seed buns.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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has 66.69 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT
Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? A: Han So-high
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, weed
When somebody is totally angry, why not say: "Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, communication, geek
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
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