Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? A: Look for sesame seed buns.
Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
When somebody is totally angry, why not say: "Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
What does a black person and Batman have in common? They both can't leave home without Robbin.