Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms. "How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo. "That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head. BONG!!! "That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?" "Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?" Quasimodo came out and said... "I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!"
What does a black person and Batman have in common? They both can't leave home without Robbin.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
I unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter... I'm sure she's gonna write a song about it.
Priest: Kim, do you take Kanye to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and cherish? Kim: I.. *Kanye grabs mic* Kanye: She do.
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.
Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize? Cause he was outstanding in his field.
Grandma: "Why is that dumb piece of cotton candy talking." Me: "Grandma, thats Nikki Minaj."
All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.