The best chemistry jokes

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A: One molar solution.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, nerd
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, money
As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? A: He got Avogadro's number!
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, chemistry, nerd
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Vote: has 63.49 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, military, science
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, geek, nerd, science
Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, divorce, money
Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle? A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, communication, nerd
Little Johnny was a chemist. Little Johnny is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Vote: has 58.58 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, death, little Johnny, stupid
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, chemistry, death, wife