Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A: One molar solution.
Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For hispanic attacks.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? A: He got Avogadro's number!
Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle? A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.