If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A: One molar solution.
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For hispanic attacks.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? A: He got Avogadro's number!
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."