Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it." The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car? A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI