Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.