Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it." The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A: One molar solution.