Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it." The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car? A: He was booked for a salt and battery.