Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A: One molar solution.