Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car? A: He was booked for a salt and battery.