Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?"
The proton replies "I'm positive."
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid."
"Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist.
The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.