The best chemistry jokes

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
Vote: has 61.71 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, chemistry, science
Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
Vote: has 61.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, divorce, money
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
Vote: has 59.75 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, friendship, nerd, women
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
Vote: has 58.09 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, life
Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.
Vote: has 57.55 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, fart, science, Yo mama
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, chemistry, death, wife
Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, graduation, science
Little Johnny was a chemist. Little Johnny is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Vote: has 49.83 % from 65 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, death, little Johnny, stupid
As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR? A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, geek, nerd