The best chemistry jokes

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, chemistry, science
Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, divorce, money
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
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has 57.40 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, life
Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle? A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, communication, nerd
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
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has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, friendship, nerd, women
Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.
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has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, fart, science, Yo mama
Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, graduation, science
Little Johnny was a chemist. Little Johnny is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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has 50.06 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, death, little Johnny, stupid
As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: chemistry
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR? A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, geek, nerd