The best chemistry jokes

Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR? A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Little Johnny was a chemist. Little Johnny is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Vote: has 46.76 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, death, little Johnny, stupid