The best chemistry jokes

As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
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Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
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Little Johnny was a chemist. Little Johnny is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR? A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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