The best communication jokes

I love in horror movies how the person yells out "Hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "Yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, food
Q: Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns? A: Because they take things. Literally.
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication
Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know." Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone." Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."
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has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, single
I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, fitness, gym, mean
Q: Why don't you ask Yoda for money? A: He is always a little to short.
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has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, communication, money
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
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has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, men, stupid, women
Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant, what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, time
Q: Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? A: Time will tell.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, time
The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news." "What's the bad news?" asks the accused. "The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it." "What's the good news?" "Your cholesterol is 130."
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, lawyer, prison
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
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has 75.92 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, sex, women
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