I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me: "Are you alone?" So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone." "So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl. I fainted...
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
Anthony Weiner got in trouble with his Hispanic online name "Carlos Danger". He is now using a French online name, "Jacques Ouef".
Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me." The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
I was looking at the pies offered by a nearby café. They had cherry, apple, berry, peach, and Herman's. "What type of pie is Herman's?" I asked the waiter. "Apple," he said. "Then why is it called Herman's pie?" "Because Herman called in to reserve it."
Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case. "Look," said one, "let's be honest with each other." "Okay, you first," replied the other. That was the end of the discussion.
Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face? A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Paddy and Murphy were doing a crossword. Paddy asks, "How do you spell paint"? Murphy replies, "What color?"
Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by? The first one said, "I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde." Her friend said, "She's a suicide blonde." The other said, "Suicide blonde? What's that?" The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"
Knock,Knock, Who is there? Pen! Pen who? is...