The best communication jokes

Knock,Knock, Who is there? Pen! Pen who? is...
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has 74.44 % from 396 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, knock-knock, vulgar
Instead of saying, "And here's your receipt," cashiers should say, "Will you throw this away for me?"
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service
An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels. He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldn't prove it. He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin. Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load. On every occasion, there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip. On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath. Nothing. He could never find anything amiss. After a few months of this, the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned. A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On an impulse, the auditor went up to him and said, "Look, I've left the company, I'm not interested in taking it any further and I won't stop you, but I just have to know. What were you taking?" And the bloke said "Tarpaulins."
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: accountant, communication, mean, time, work
A blonde hops on and off a curb on a busy street, saying 54 over and over. A brunette walks by and asks what the blonde is doing. The blonde replies that she is jumping on and off the curb saying 54 over and over. The brunette joins her. Soon, the brunette gets hit by a passing car. The blonde watches as the car drives away. The blond then continues to jump on and off the curb, saying 55 over and over.
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has 74.29 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: black humor, blonde, car, communication, driving
Wife: "There's something preying on my mind." Husband: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
Wanna hear a pencil joke? Ugh, nevermind, it's pointless.
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, driving
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him. She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street. At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load." He ignores her again and continues down the street. At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, driving, winter, work
I bought a lottery ticket. My son asked me: "Dady if your ticket wins $100,000 what will you do?" I replied: "A travel to Europe, drink best and most expensive wines, making sex by the most beautiful actress and so on." He again asked: "If unfortunately, your ticket didn't win what would be your action?" I angrily gazed him then I told him: "I don't move here, drink some booze and beer; fuck your mother."
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has 73.86 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, money, travel, vulgar
I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash." Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
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has 73.80 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, IT, marriage, technology
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