The best communication jokes

I bought a lottery ticket. My son asked me: "Dady if your ticket wins $100,000 what will you do?" I replied: "A travel to Europe, drink best and most expensive wines, making sex by the most beautiful actress and so on." He again asked: "If unfortunately, your ticket didn't win what would be your action?" I angrily gazed him then I told him: "I don't move here, drink some booze and beer; fuck your mother."
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has 73.68 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, money, travel, vulgar
My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104. We called her Aunt Tique.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, family
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?" Mom: "Because he never lies." Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting, kids, mean, women
A lawyer has just settled down in his new office. So now, he is thinking what he can do to have clients. After a long time thinking, a man comes into the office. Right away, the lawyer decides to make his new plan take action. So he picks up the phone and says: "Unfortunately, Ms. Onassis, I cannot undertake your case right now. I am working full time, call me in a month to see if I can help you." He puts the phone down and says to the waiting man: "How can I help you sir?" "Nothing really, I am from telephone communications, I just came to connect your phone."
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has 73.60 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, office, phone, work
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
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has 73.54 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, stupid, time, travel
Did you hear about the man whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, health
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing. He found her to be possessive and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage
On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter fell out of a deer stand and broke both his legs. "Why couldn't this happen on my last day of hunting?!" the hunter cried to the doctor. "It did," the doctor replied.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, hunting, mean, time
"I'm sorry for throwing red wine over all your dresses in the wardrobe last night," I told my girlfriend. "I've spent all day getting the stains out just to show how much you mean to me." "Oh, that's really nice," she said. "What did you use to remove the stains?" "Scissors," I replied.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, relationship, wine
Did you hear about the new book about anti-gravity? I just can't seem to put it down.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, science
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