The best communication jokes

Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication
Q: Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns? A: Because they take things. Literally.
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication
Q: What do you call fake spaghetti? A: "I'm pasta."
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: communication, food
Jim is up north on a trip and his car breaks down. He checks it out for a minute and being a mechanic he pretty quickly knows he needs a tow truck. He opens his phone and has no signal so he starts walking. A few minutes later he here's the bass of a car coming in the distance, bht dum dum do buh dum dum do. He waits and sees a low riding car pull up next to him. The windows roll down and smoke pours out. He sees a bunch of empty beer bottles. The driver and his 3 passengers ask "hey man! Need a lift? We saw your car up the road?" He thinks for a minute and decides not to go with them. The ask what's wrong with the car the mechanic replies "uhh just piston broke that's all" the driven than replies "eh so are we man hop in!"
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, men, phone, travel
Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement." I did as instructed, and the system said, "Please enter your five-digit ZIP code." After I put that in, I got a third message: "If you would like your information in English, press one."
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, phone
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, mean, wife
A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room. In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry. "I am Gina the Great," stated the lady. "I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!" With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise. The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish. Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. "I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need." With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone. The floor nurse went next. "I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts." With a puff of smoke, she too was gone. "Now, what is the last wish?" asked the lady. The charge nurse said, "I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break."
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, genie, nurse, work
Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back." Jonny: "That's what she said." Miss: "Get out!" Jonny "She said that too."
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has 73.41 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, school, sex
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
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has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, mean, sex
The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes. St. Peter: "What do you want? " Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: christian, communication, ethnic, heaven, time
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