The best communication jokes

My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?" He said, "A bus passed over his finger!" I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause." My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"
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has 80.54 % from 339 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, friendship, travel
Saying the same thing over and over again but expecting different results is called parenting.
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has 80.46 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: communication, family, kids, life
Q: What do you call a man with no body, and only a nose? A: Nobody knows.
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has 80.44 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication
A man was talking to his wife about going to the social security office. He said he would go the next day. So the next morning he goes but when he gets there he realized he forgot his license and she said that was fine she could tell his age by the hair on his chest. So he opened his shirt and everything went smoothly. He got home and told his wife what happened and she said: "well honey if you would have pulled down your pants you could have filed for disability."
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has 80.43 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, mean, sex, wife
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
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has 80.33 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, men, stupid, women
Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sex with them. One nun says "God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!" The second nun says "Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!"
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has 80.18 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, god, religious, sex
Q: What did the pencil say to the sharpener? A: Stop going in circles and get to the point.
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has 80.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, life
Q: What are the three words you never wanna hear whilst having sex? A: "Honey I'm home."
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has 80.13 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: communication, sex
Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant, what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision.
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has 79.96 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, time
A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" "You mean J.C?", responds the alien. "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!" The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" The pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?" The alien says "Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Why? What did you guys do?"
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has 79.91 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, christian, communication, religious, time
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