The best communication jokes

Can you repeat this sentence 3 times without stammering? 3 witches watch 3 Swatch watches; which witch watches which Swatch watches?
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has 80.15 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: communication
Yo mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it said: "A.B.C.D.E.F.G get your fat ass off of me."
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has 80.15 % from 254 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, insulting, vulgar, Yo mama
My girlfriend said she wanted a perfect holiday, so I had to stay home!
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has 80.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, holiday, relationship
A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" "You mean J.C?", responds the alien. "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!" The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" The pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?" The alien says "Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Why? What did you guys do?"
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has 80.12 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, christian, communication, religious, time
Wife: "There's something preying on my mind." Husband: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."
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has 79.96 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
Me: "I love you." You: "Is that you or the wine talking?" Me: "It's me talking to the wine."
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has 79.95 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, mean, wine
Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. "How's it going?", someone asked. "Oh, not too bad", said Diogenes. "I still have my lantern."
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has 79.57 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha­­! That's not going to help," she said. "Sure, it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
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has 79.34 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat
Mom was very upset when she found a bondage S&M magazine in her son's room. She showed it to her husband when he got home. He handed it back to her without a word. She asked him, "Well, what do we do about this?" "Well, whatever you do, don't spank him."
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has 79.22 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, family, sex
Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!" Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."
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has 78.95 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, vulgar
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